Monkey Whizz is a silly name, but is it a great synthetic urine that will pass a modern drug test? I’m going to review Monkey Whizz right now. You may be surprised to know that Monkey Whizz is not actually the urine at all, but I will explain everything.

I will cover DOT (Department of Transport) drug testing, how to use Monkey Whizz, it’s composition, and whether it stacks up against the best on the market in its ability to pass a drug test.

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What Exactly Is Monkey Whizz?

The company is called Serious Monkey Bizzness. Silly company name as well. Monkey Whizz is often thrown around as a term for the urine that sold, but it’s not actually the urine at all.

What I mean is, if you buy Quick Fix, then we are referring to the urine formula called Quick Fix urine.

But Monkey Whizz is only the name of one of their products, but because it’s catchier than the company name, or any of the other product names, people just generally refer to the urine and all the products that contain it as “Monkey Whizz”.

Monkey Whizz Product Range

The Serious Monkey Bizzness product range consists of the following four products in ascending order of cost:

1. Monkey urine – this is a small plastic container of dehydrated synthetic urine. You have to add (jug filtered) water, and you need to get a heat pad or other heat maintenance source from someplace else.

2. Monkey Flask – this is the main product that people refer to when they say “Monkey Whizz”. It’s premixed (hydrated) urine accompanied by a heat pad.
3. Monkey Whizz – this is exactly the same urine again, but contained in a slender belt that you strap around your waist and crotch. It comes with a pair of heat pads, as well as a tap and tube dispensing system.
4. Monkey Dong – this is the king of the jungle, the king of the swingers, the jungle VIP. This is the same urine, contained in the belt, with a pair of heat pads, but with a prosthetic penis for a more realistic dispensing method.

So as you can see, it’s a very diverse product range, with four very different ways of approaching submitting your sample.

But to reiterate again, each of the four has exactly the same synthetic urine in it, whether it’s hydrated or not, it’s identical in composition.

Is Monkey Whizz Urine Good Quality?

Regardless of which product you choose, the crucial question is whether the urine is good enough to pass a drug test?

Let’s tell you exactly what the characteristics of the kit you buy are:

• Contains uric acid
• Contains creatinine
• Within the correct specific gravity and pH ranges
• Uses a heat pad (included for most products)

The big problem is that urea isn’t necessarily there. The company has not confirmed that it is. In addition, you getting nothing else in terms of chemicals. If the validity checks on the sample you submit look for anything else then it will fail immediately.

It’s realistic enough in color, even if you hold it up to the light, as some drug company employees do. But it doesn’t smell like urine, so wouldn’t satisfy a truly suspicious lab tech.

Forget The Monkey Whizz Near Me Search

I’m going to steer you away from trying to buy any type of synthetic urine locally now. That near-me search just won’t cut it.

There are several reasons for this as follows:

1. Only poor quality retailers have things like this available locally. This means you can’t guarantee quality or legality.

2. They will be looking to buy the cheapest products and sell them at the highest markup in price. That means you’ll get a really bad deal.

3. The best fake urine on the market isn’t sold wholesale, therefore you won’t get on marketplace sites like Amazon or eBay, or places like Walmart Walgreens, and you won’t get it locally near you.

Should You Trust The Monkey Whizz Belt Kit?

Monkey Whizz actually refers to product that’s an Incognito Belt. What exactly is in Incognito belt, when should you use it, and should you use it at all?

When it comes to drug testing, there are three potential levels of scrutiny you could face:

• Unsupervised – nobody will be looking at you or even in the same room
• Supervised – someone will be in the area but not directly observing
• Observed – as it suggests, someone will watch the urine exit your body

Most urine drug testing is unsupervised. The only time it won’t be is for specific circumstances like previous failure, law enforcement, or some other formal reason.

You’ll also know in advance if it’s going to be supervised in any way. Therefore, you’ll be able to choose your strategy in advance.

There are two Monkey Whizz Incognito belts:

• Monkey Whizz has a simple clear tube and tap dispenser
• Monkey Dong has a ‘realistic’ penis instead of a tap

Now obviously, Monkey Dong is only suitable for guys. Monkey Whizz is evidently going to be unisex.

But should you use an Incognito belt? The answer is simply no!

To be clear, these are the reasons why any Incognito belt is a waste of time and dangerous:

1. They are completely unnecessary for unsupervised testing. The complication that could go wrong, and they stand more chance of being located during cursory patting down before the test.
2. They can’t be used naturally. Fiddling around with the tap, or squeezing the prosthetic, doesn’t look or sound natural.
3. Do you really think that you will fool someone even indirectly in the room. The flow will not be human in nature, you’ll be fiddling around, and any glance towards you sees what you are trying to do.

Will Monkey Whizz Synthetic Urine Pass A DOT Drug Test?

I always smile about these questions. When people ask if something will pass a DOT (Department of Transport) drug test, it shows they are under the impression that the drug test is more rigorous.

To be clear, only the paper trail is more rigorous in this type of drug test.

The actual drug test itself is a standard five-panel urine test. It looks for the standard five substances (cocaine, meth, marijuana, opiates, PCP), and is done under standard validity check and testing regimes.

So synthetic urine will pass a drug test, and it will pass a DOT drug test. Who’s paying for it to be conducted is irrelevant.

This all goes back to the simple question about the quality of the urine: can Monkey Whizz pass a modern drug test?

How Reliable Is Monkey Whizz? Review Conclusion

Any serious Monkey Whizz review conclusion has to tell you whether it will be good enough to beat modern drug testing.

For me, Monkey Whizz is going to fail for the following key reasons:

• It’s not particularly physically convincing under close scrutiny
• It’s formula is very basic
• The heat pads are not good quality
• The Monkey Whizz belt is a really bad idea

So having let you down, by telling you it’s not good enough to pass a modern drug test, and that you can’t just grab a box locally and get away with taking drugs easily, let me tell you how to pass any test with ease.

Best Alternative To Monkey Whizz: Clear Choice Quick Luck

Clear Choice are a great fake urine brand. They made the best urine on the market called Sub Solution. The most complex, the most convincing physically, and with fantastic heat activator powder as an alternative to heat pads.

A few years back, Clear Choice went one better and upgraded the whole thing. They called the new product ‘Quick Luck’.

These are the reasons why Quick Luck is so superior to Monkey Whizz:

• Contains 14 chemicals found in urine (far more likely to pass advanced validity check)
• Looks, froths, and smells like urine (will pass closer human scrutiny)
• Doesn’t rely on a heat pad (uses heat activator powder for temperature management)

Let’s just focus on the heat activator powder, because that’s the clincher. It’s an insurance policy on all the messing about with failing heat pads.

There’s no preparation needed at all, no microwave. Just keep it as close to body temperature as possible on your journey. There’s even a heat pad included in the Clear Choice Quick Luck kit, should you live somewhere cold and want to elevate the temperature while you travel.

Then, on arrival, simply tap in about one quarter of the powder, shake it until it’s dissolved (don’t worry, it’s completely undetectable in a drug test).

Then, watch the temperature strip for 60 seconds. Repeat the process with further small amounts until you get a good reading, then tuck it into your underwear to keep it warm and discreetly hidden, and go in and submit your sample.

You can purchase Quick Luck on Testnegative.

Quick Luck is far superior to Monkey Whizz and all the other budget brands such as Quick Fix, Magnum, and Urine Luck, and should be your only consideration for using synthetic urine.